Monday, June 30, 2008

The Dual Reality Shuffle

It's kind of scary-looking over the Boulder this morning. There's a fire over by Salt Creek, and it may have been playing with creating its own weather system (weird, I know). Or it could just been monsoon season, threatening to begin early, as funky and wild as the weather patterns all over the world this year.

I am flipping back and forth today, feeling discombobulated and restless. And tired, natch. Sigh!

I went to southern California all last week to visit family, whom I hadn't seen since last fall. It was odd to be there at first—hot, icky, trafficky, smoggy, really hot, crowded, intense, alive, and did I mention hot? While a good visit overall (my apologies to those I did not see while I was there!—too much going on), it made my life here in Utah seem so distant, so removed from reality. Did I dream this place? Does it really matter? Do all the petty incidents and little life dramas of those here in this one spot matter?

(Okay, must insert that I am slightly steamed at the moment—from precisely one of those petty life incidents around here. Grrr....)

And then when I am here, in this place, I consider southern California, Durango, and other places I have spent time, and I wonder if those were dreams...because they seem so, to me.

The answer of course is that our current reality is always the most present, the most real, the most pressing. The green grass outside my door (yep, water-waster, but that's my landlords, not me), the cliffs and mountains in the distance, the Henrys behind their smoky haze off to the east, the quiet sounds of rural life, the wide open door and unlocked everything...this is my present reality, and it is as damn real as anything else.

As real as the wild green parrots of the San Gabriel Valley, the traffic on Colorado Boulevard, the nattering newscasters, the cement that paves so much of the land of the Angelenos.

Wow. My head is kind of tripping with the duality of it all. Do I really want to lead this sort of dual life? Combining city/civilization pleasures with rural/wild adventure?

Yep. Sure do.

(Last note: I have now discovered the wonders of the wireless aircard, and I LOVE IT! A most helpful thing to have out here in the boonies. I am connected at home—everywhere I go that I have cell service, in fact. Whoo-hoo!)



Team Trail Monster said...


Remember - "Golidlocks" was not about bears....

Julie K. Trevelyan said...

True, true...everything's just a metaphor for something else anyway, eh?

Funny that you mention bears...they've been figuring in my life of late. Hmm, messages from the universe! (Or the bears, who knows.) :)